i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
