i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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