im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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