i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
