So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.