operation harelip BJ is a go
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
