I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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