So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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