and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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