the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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