Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
