I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
