I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
