Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
