Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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