that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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