Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this boner is exhausting
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
