Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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