Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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