I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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