Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the day after is always just damage control
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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