Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask