1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.