It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
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Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
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How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.