I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
