pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
