you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
