I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I don't deserve a penis
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
