I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
