the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
