I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
