Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
