He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im six kinds of drunk right now
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
