I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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