why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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