Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
