As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
