Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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