My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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