Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
