i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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