$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize