Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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