Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
