just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
