bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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