ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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