Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

***** fucked a guy with one hand last night

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(434): View more from Virginia

So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

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(574): View more from Indiana

pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.

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(585): View more from New York

i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW

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(206): View more from Washington

I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed

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(678): View more from Georgia

She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.

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