Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
