I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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