great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
