I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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