so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
