If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
