If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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