Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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