I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
