Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
