Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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