She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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