if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
