Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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